


Guess I'm A Bad Liar

by Dredfulhapiness



Series: Hello My Old Heart [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunk Dialing, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Fluff, Iron Dad, Iron Family, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dredfulhapiness/pseuds/Dredfulhapiness
Summary: “Dude,” Harley said, “Are you drunk?” Tony’s head whipped up.“Peter?” He mouthed, clearly startled. Harley nodded. Tony made a motion that was somewhere between what the fuck and concern.“No.” Peter hiccuped. “Yes. A little bit. You didn’t answer my question.”





	Guess I'm A Bad Liar

Harley was on the floor with Morgan, half paying attention when his phone rang.

_Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can_

Peter’s face stared up at him from the incoming call screen. His face was twisted into a goofy expression. Harley had taken it the night they met at the party in the Avenger’s Compound. The night there had all but been a banner that said: “No one died!”

Harley stood, pushing legos out of his way, as he and Tony exchanged a look. He pulled himself against the wall.

“Hey,” he said, “you okay?”

He glanced at his watch. It was just after five, meaning it was just after ten in England. Peter wasn’t supposed to call this week, he was supposed to be having a good time with his friends. Fear surged in his gut. What if something was wrong?

“Hey!” Peter said, excited and slurred. “Are you sad?”

“What?” Harley said, blinking. Pepper was watching him.

“You’ve been sad lately,” Peter said, “I was calling to make sure you aren’t sad.”

“Dude,” Harley said, “Are you drunk?” Tony’s head whipped up.

“_Peter_?” He mouthed, clearly startled. Harley nodded. Tony made a motion that was somewhere between _what the fuck _and _concern. _

“No.” Peter hiccuped. “Yes. A little bit. You didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t ask one.”

“Are you sad?” He asked it so innocently, as if he were asking if Harley needed a haircut. Harley pulled a face even though Peter couldn’t see it.

“No I’m not— dude, what’s wrong with you?”

“Are you watching Moana?” He could practically see Peter tilting his head quizzically, listening to _You’re Welcome _crackle faintly in the background.

Harley rolled his eyes. He considered making a joke about just loving The Rock, but his face lit up, sudden, with another idea. He knelt down and pressed the phone to Morgan’s ear/“Morgan, say hi to Peter,” he said.

“Hi Peter!” She said, loud. Then, “what’s drunk?” Pepper covered her mouth with her hand. She looked at Harley. He just shrugged, devious. “Ohhh... okay. When are you coming home? I drew you a spider!... Bye Peter! Don’t do the drunk thing anymore.”

Harley brought the phone back to his own ear. “Yeah,” he said, “we’re watching Moana. What about it?”

Instead of the scathing remark he’d been expecting Peter said, “You’re upstate. You _must _be sad.”

And, really, what the _fuck _did that mean?

Harley opened his mouth to ask just that question but what came out instead was: “Is everyone there drinking?” He slipped into the kitchen, because, frankly, he wasn’t in the mood to be discussing his apparent sadness in front of Tony and Pepper. He isn’t sad, he’s stoic. Brooding, like everyone in that stupid show Peter liked. The one about the dragons and thrones. Not sad.

“Flash can’t ‘cause of his medicine.”

“Flash?”

“He’s the one wearing the Spider-Man shirt in my Instagram picture.” Harley scanned his brain. He vaguely remembered which post Peter was talking about. It had been posted sometime between the picture of Peter holding the London Eye and— Oh, Flash. Right. He was the one that was wearing Ray-Bans and standing like he was in a boy band. He looked uptight standing next to Peter and Ned— then again, most people did.

“Is Flash with you?” Harley balanced the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He poured himself a glass of water.

“He’s keeping MJ and Ned from going swimming,” Peter said, matter-of-factly.

“He’s—“

“Peter, who are you talking to?” The person on the other end of the line sounded exasperated, and also exactly the way Flash looked. Harley took a long sip of his water.

“I’m making sure Harley’s not sad,” Peter explained. Flash made a strangled noise. Harley couldn’t bite back his grin. Poor Flash.

“Who’s Harley?”

“He’s my friend— you don’t know all my friends— oh... he’s going back to MJ and Ned.” Harley leaned his head back against the refrigerator.

“How much have you had?”

“Mmm... I don’t know.” Peter sighed, uninterested.

“Enough?”

“Are you gonna tell Mr. Stark?” Harley laughed— he didn’t mean to, but it slipped out.

“Are you asking if I’m going to tell on you?” He could imagine Peter nodding enthusiastically. He imagined this is what his life would be like now if his sister hadn’t blipped: being asked to cover for her. She’d be about that age now. “He was in the room when you called.”

Peter groaned. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry about it— how’s your trip going?”

“MJ figured it out.” He sounded tired. Also stressed. Harley tried to remember if MJ was the one Peter had a thing for now or the one Peter took to homecoming. There were a surprising amount of girls in that scrawny nerd’s life. He was pretty sure she’s the one he was planning on asking out while they were abroad.

“Figured what out?” Harley took another sip of his water.

“That I’m... you know...”

Tony wandered into the kitchen. He was holding Morgan, her arms were tight around his neck. He looked at Harley, worried. Harley knew what he was thinking: this was completely unlike Peter. Also, maybe: I didn’t think the kid had it in him.

“A loser?”

“No. That I’m...” his voice dropped to a whisper, “like Flash’s shirt.”

“That you’re like Flash’s shir— oh. shit.”

“That’s mommy’s word!” Morgan scolded. She detangled herself from Tony’s neck and wagged whatever she had been building at him like it was a finger. Harley raised a hand as an apology. He pulled the phone away from his ear and put it on speaker.

“What are you going to do? What happens if you have to disappear in Europe?”

“Didn’t bring the suit,” Peter said.

“You didn’t?” Tony said, and he almost looked impressed.

“Mr. Stark! Hi!” And he was trying too hard. He almost sounded like The Fonz. He hiccuped again. “How are you doing?”

“Drink a glass of water, wino,” Tony said. “Now what’s the problem?”

“MJ knows about, uh...” Harley made the “rock on” hand sign.

“You know in _Men In Black _how—”

“We’re not wiping anyone’s memory,” Harley said at the same time Tony said, “what did we say about pop culture references?”

“Spider-Man could make an appearance in New York,” Harley suggested, “While you’re out there with her.”

“Wait. He could?” Peter asked earnestly, and both Tony and Harley gave him the few seconds to realize— “wait. What? Don’t do that!”

“What? Why not? You said you wanted to keep it a secret.” Harley put his hands on the table, spread, and stared down at his phone. When he looked up, he noticed Tony was standing the same way. He straightened quickly.

“I don’t want to keep lying to her. We just started talking, and being close, and—“ Peter cut off mid sentence. There was muffled talking on the other end of the line. Then, “hey, I gotta go. Harley, you... just feel better, alright?”

Harley scrunched up his face. He opened his mouth to retort, but Peter had already hung up.

“Fuckin’ weirdo,” he muttered under his breath. His fingers were tangled in his hair when he looked up. “Why are you looking at me like that, Grandpa?”

“No reason,” Tony said without looking away. “I’m just trying to decide if now is a good time to ask you to babysit.”

**Author's Note:**

> I originally only posted this on Tumblr, but I realized it served as universe context for the other fics I made in this AU. Feel free to hit me up on Tumblr though @dredfulhapiness OR if you like my fic, pls don't be shy about leaving comments. Hell, leave comments if you hated it. They're my favorite currency. But seriously, feel free to shoot me asks on tumblr bc I'm usually bored and I love talking about these boys!


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